Thursday, July 18, 2013
breast is best?
Breasts. First time my breasts no longer belong to me, but to my little boy. They have been scratched, pounded, sucked on, and snuggled. And they are all for Finn. Who knew breast feeding would be so challenging. I always imagined my milk flowing like a river, because isn't that how we are built? Isn't that why woman have breasts? To provide for our children? In the past three and a half weeks I have cried on the couch multiple times, wondering where oh where has all the milk gone. And then there's supplementing with formula. The "evil" formula. Oh, the guilt I have felt over the man made milk. But I'm learning to let go. My wonderful husband was formula fed, and he turned out alright. Well, mostly. I figure whatever Finn needs to thrive and grow, I will provide. Regardless if it comes from my breasts or not. So as the day ends and melds into the next, I will forge on and hope for the breast, oops... I mean best.
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Oh Wendy! I feel your pain -- even if it is only in my memory! I struggled so much with breast feeding too! And man oh man did I torture myself over it. Here's my advice. Don't torture yourself. It is all perfect. All that matters is that little boy and the fact that he is a hungry little bambino. One of the things that I told myself was that 'I had to breastfeed b/c if I couldn't than back in the olden days he wouldn't have survived'. The truth is, back in the olden days we lived in a community of women. A community who supported each other in more ways than we could ever even imagine. If I couldn't do it than there would be a woman in my tribe who could. We don't live in a world like that currently, and thankfully there is a solution - and you are exploring that solution. There are many advantages to the formula -- one of which is that my husband/parents could do some of the feedings for me so that I could do what I needed to do most: rest and heal.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so honest about your struggle. I know that in doing so, you will free someone else from their silent torture.
So much love Wendy. You are a phenomenal mother!!! xoxo